* traditional networking mixers where people arrive and then are expected to slot themselves into a conversation by themselves are pretty under-optimized. then in a 2 hour event people might talk with 6 people, and the people are kind of random - whoever they happen to walk up to. (prefer **avoiding**) * group sitting at a table with a facilitator who leads a discussion (good for discussing a topic, though **not preferred for building relationships**) * my experience with these is for me and most people i know is that we learn a bit about the topic and what others think about it, though new relationships forming is rare. you can't really ask questions in the group event like 'oh that's cool i grew up in the same area' because those aren't relevant for the full group, so it stays very surface level / lowest common denominator generally, it's good for the facilitator and there'll normally be a couple people that enjoy talking a lot that like it. so it's more like an in person podcast, which is cool but doesn't maximize the value of being in person with others * the exception to this is that it can be good when the topic is so specific that anyone who wants to attend and discuss it would already want to be friends. that said i still hope more people do some of the "standing up mixer type events" mentioned below :) * group dinners with 4-8 people (good for discussing a topic, **not preferred** for building relationships). below 4 is less optimal group size unless everyone knows each other well. 4-5 works and doesn't need as much facilitation. 6-8 is also good, though the host needs to actively facilitate the conversation (redirect it, ask people what they think, etc). * kinda the same as the group sitting at a table. if it goes into multiple conversations, people have fomo and are limited by seating arrangement. if it's one single threaded conversation, then it has to be somewhat lowest common denominator, makes it harder to build relationships. can work if the topic is hyper specific such that someone is likely to want to be friends/peers with many people who are interested in that topic. * **(best)** standing up mixer type event with ~15-25 people where it's mostly unstructured time where people are walking around but crucially there's ~2-3 icebreaker things led by someone where the group circles up and goes around with name + work + perhaps location and a quick topic, then after that goes back to mixing. (**preferred for building relationships**). (mostly move the chairs away / block them off, if people are sitting then the groups don't/can't mix up much) * the book "the 2 hour cocktail party" gives a bunch of info on this. but if it's at an existing event you can skip the food, drinks, and just do a 90 minute version with less effort. the key thing though from the whole book is about circling the group up 2-3 times during the event for structured icebreakers and then return to unstructured standing-up mingling after those icebreakers, and having the group size be 15-25 people (smaller is not enough energy for a mixer, larger means the icebreaker times take too long). just doing those things improves an event massively.